Homosexual Acceptance & Christians.
Accepting Homosexuals as Honored members of your community..
If your community is made up of emotionally mature adults, there are usually no problems..
If your community has a Christian base or includes children - then there are many issues that need to be addressed.
The most serious issue is the sensitivity of the Children.. (more on that later.)
A 2nd 'serious issue' is with communities that believe there is a 'spiritual problem' with 'Gay Acceptance'.. Some even see 'being gay' as an evil choice!
(Note.. This article reflects the personal views of the author. It is NOT 'authorized' by any denomination.)
Did Gay folk originally choose to be Gay? Or was there No Choice at all?
To Understand Homosexuality, you first need to understand Addictions..
All addictions are the result of the brain re-wiring itself in response to an overdose of certain drugs or chemicals.
Some addictions are temporary, but most, like Alcoholism, are permanent. The exact "dosage" required to trigger the "re-wiring" varies enormously, but, once it happens, there is no cure.
Intense, sustained hatred can trigger an overdose of brain chemicals which can also re-wire the brain and produce a dangerous lifelong proclivity (addiction) to uncontrollable violent outbursts.
In fact, ANY "very intense" emotion or 'feeling' is the result of 'brain chemicals' and can be addictive unless moderation is enforced.
Sexual (dopamine) Addiction..
The "Bonding" that occurs between husband and wife is anatomically the same as a drug addiction.
It can be clinically demonstrated that the sensation of sexual arousal is caused by the brain chemicals dopamine and oxytocin. It can also be demonstrated that male-female bonding is simply the result of these chemicals exceeding a certain exposure level. They become addicted to each other and there is no cure.
A quote from an eminent Biological Anthropologist..
"Don't have sex with anyone you have no intention of falling madly in love with, because the dopamine-oxytocin effect might be strong enough to re-wire your brain and you will be forever theirs."
The power of those 2 brain chemicals can knock a young man, riding out to conquer the world, completely off his horse! Next thing he knows, he is settling down to raise a family!
Those two chemicals can even cause a heart attack in an elderly man if he is exposed to an intense sexual encounter!
Father Evolution designed those two chemicals to be viciously strong and absolutely addictive for a good reason.. There is no other way to trap that young brave warrior into a life on a farm raising children. That "bonding" is also necessary to keep that independent, spirited, selfish young couple together long enough for them to mature into an eternal loving relationship.
Gays are not born Gay..
Children are born sexually neutral.. After puberty, they can become addicted to the first sexual encounter where the dopamine exceeds a certain level. As to which type of encounter (hetero, homo) is likely to come first, there are choices and environmental factors involved, but, in most cases, the individual had little chance of avoiding that encounter.
Why do some children drift towards homosexuality?
Sexual chemistry (Eg. the brain chemical dopamine) is highly addictive.. It is the major force behind the "Bonding" that occurs between man and woman.. Almost every person will become addicted and bonded to one form of sexuality or another. It simply depends on WHO it happens with first.
"Who it happens with first" is the major factor.. And that is affected by several things..
Remember that most children find ALL types of sex disgusting..
* Culture and its prejudice can heighten that "disgust" for same-sex events, and hetero 'peer-pressure' and media pressure can reduce that disgust for hetero events.
* Some children are exposed to hetero-sexual activity too early in life.. This will greatly extend the natural "disgust" of hetero, and increase the chance of a homo-event.
* Many teen-agers treat the opposite sex with cruelty and contempt! - For the poor recipients, same-sex friendships will be far more comfortable.
* Many teens are acutely afraid of the opposite sex. Many are simply afraid of other people. These teens have little chance of forming a hetero relationship.. Eventually, they may find a same-sex relationship that is easy and comfortable. Sadly, easy things rarely last. Life-long relationships are forged in the fire - and they can't deal with fire. This kind of homosexual is usually plagued by broken relationships, despair and depression.
Being Gay is not normal..
By definition, "normal" implies most people do it, and, it is something that Father Evolution has gifted us with. (Thru our genes)
Homosexuality fails both these tests..
Pure Gays are less than 1 percent of the population.. And, with a lifelong partner, they do not reproduce, so Evolution will naturally tend to eliminate any such 'condition' from our genes.
Therefore, by common definition, Homosexuality is not normal, it is a Divergence.
Is it a harmless Divergence?
(Most of humanity is guilty of something "harmful".. That is not an excuse for ostracizing certain folk.)
** Amongst Gay folk, you will find some of the most amiable, non-violent, non-aggressive, peaceful people on the planet.
The world desperately needs many more such children. Yet, most Gays will never procreate and so they deny the world the contributions of their own peace loving children! That is NOT harmless - and that is not "normal".
Open Homosexual behavior is a danger to Children..
Almost all children in your community view ALL aspects of sex as disgusting. That is normal.. Children have a hard enough time accepting that Mum and Dad are 'sexually active'. They really don't want to discover that their two nice lady friends (or those two cool guys) are 'sexually active'!
Children are very quick to 'figure things out' and it is very hard for a gay couple to prevent (protect) those friendly, inquisitive children from discovering that they are lovers. Once discovered, the word will spread.. Soon, one of the more street wise children will delight in explaining to the other children how 'being gay works' and how penetration is achieved! Suddenly, dozens of fragile imaginations have been violated, and a few will feel quite sick. This vulnerability can extend to puberty! I was twelve when a school teacher explained (to our whole class of boys) how 'gay penetration' works! I felt sick for weeks and will carry an emotional scar for life! - Again, this is not "harmless".
It is obvious that if a gay couple wants to fellowship with a group where children are integral, they have to be willing to act like normal friends. If children see no evidence to support strange rumors, they will stand up for their friends and dismiss those rumors.
With communities like churches, it is wise to ensure that the whole group is well educated concerning these issues..
Most members have no trouble accepting all kinds of ex-criminals, ex-drug addicts, prostitutes and even tax collectors. Once properly informed and aware, they will be able to put aside their fears and also accept these 'other folk'.
Homosexuality and Religion.
Another major issue is the fear Christians have - not of homosexual folk - but of a misconstrued Godly anger! (90% of the world believes in a "God" - and most of them believe their "God" is not happy with 'Gays'.. This vast majority deserves to be included in this discussion!)
There are certain verses in the Bible that seem to plainly say that God will be angry with those who tolerate 'Gays'. It is very understandable that Christians would be worried by those verses..
Reading those verses, Christians jump to the conclusion that "God Hates Homosexuality". And "Such people will not enter His Kingdom". However, God also says that "Unless you become Like a Child, you won't enter His Kingdom." All Christians realize they are a little arrogant and don't have this "required" pure 'mind of a child', and yet they fully expect to be accepted. (And they are.)
An arrogant mind is far more dangerous than any sexual orientation.. So why should those with the 'greater error' (an arrogant mind) be accepted while those with the lesser error be rejected?
There is obviously something missing from those simple Biblical statements of "50 Things God Hates"..
What's missing is the context and, more importantly, the death of God (Jesus) so that Christians may be lifted over those 50 barriers..
"The Context" involved an audience that believed that their own goodness and discipline to "rules" would get them "Into His Kingdom". These arrogant minds could not possibly understand the "need for Jesus" or the need for "the mind of a child."
They were YEARS away from understanding that simple truth.. All God could do at the time was give them a mirror to their problem..
God says to them.. "Your mind-set (of Keeping 50 Laws) will never GET you into My kingdom.. You need to think about the 'mind of a child'".. That simple and true statement is NOT meant as 50 impossible conditions of entry for genuine Christians!
The 50 things God Hates are NOT 50 ways Christians will be denied access to God. They already have been granted access. Out of great Love, God has already paid their entry price. All Christians have to do is accept the ticket and, in deep appreciation, gradually learn to reflect that great love. Those 50 things are merely guidelines to help us understand and assimilate the things God loves.
The 50 rules serve another important purpose.. God uses them to shoot down the belief held by many that "obedience to 50 rules" will grant you access to God.
It is very obvious that Murderers, Thieves, Wife-beaters, Run-away fathers are all offered access to Gods Kingdom. Are Gays not so lucky? Are they in a different class?
Actually, yes, there IS a difference, and Christian communities need to understand and come to terms with those differences..
The biggest difference between a Thief and a Gay couple is that we (and God) expect the thief to abandon his trade. Christians are not sure if the Gay couple should, or even could, abandon each other. We are not sure if God expects that.
Christians have 'anxious doubts' about this, and 'anxious doubts' are one of the 50 things God doesn't like. Christian communities need to reconcile these doubts.
Does God want Gay couples to separate?
This author belonged to a church that, in the 70s, taught that most divorcees could NOT ever re-marry!! (based on a Bible verse that did seem to imply that.) They demanded that the affected couples (now happily remarried) must separate and remain single forever!!
This horrific policy remained 'in force' for years and the anguish and suffering destroyed the faith of many. After a time, the foolish elders comprehended the FACT that "bonded soul-mates" CANNOT just "separate"! They cannot live without each other! They took another look at "that verse" and realized they had "missed something".. Oops!
In hindsight, analyzing the devastation that had occurred, it was obvious that, except in an extreme case, God would not ever expect 'bonded soul-mates' to separate!
Like any loving parent, He is concerned about the life-long consequences that a child will face after an unfortunate choice.. However, like a loving parent, His love for the child will not be diminished in the slightest. There will certainly be no thoughts of inflicting penalties or punishment. Instead, there will be a determination to provide extra care and patience.
True Love is Eternal.. And, therefore obviously sexless..
The Love of God for us is Spiritual and Eternal.. That is the Love we are striving to return to Him and to each other..
The most effective opportunity we have to develop this Spiritual and Eternal Love is in our 'Soul-Mate' relationships.
Hopefully, we will have 'Soul-Mates' of both sexes and some cross generational ones. Husband and Wife should also be soul-mates.
In Biblical history (Eg. Jonathan & David) and in our own lives, there are many 'Soul-mate partnerships' that have developed thru the fires of life to amazing heights and strengths.. These awesome (close to spiritual) relationships are deeply cherished by God and He will hold them up as examples in His future Kingdom. It is almost inconceivable that these special partners would be separated in eternity - It seems clear they will be 'together' for all eternity.
True Love is sexless.. Most Husbands and Wives who have lived to old age, have developed a Love relationship that has ascended well above the need for those performance enhancing drugs loosely termed 'sexual chemistry'. They have reached heights of Eternal Love that young, sexually active couples can only dream about.
This raises a valid question..
Many Gay couples are truly 'bonded soul-mates' and have also reached these heights of Eternal Love.
In eternity, (a million years from now), their "Eternal Love" will be indistinguishable from that of a once (a million years ago) hetero couple.
In a million years time, can we imagine that God would cherish the 'once hetero' relationships but not the ones that, a million years ago, were non-hetero?
That million year view is embedded in Gods attitude to everything! Poor choices in life are just momentary bumps on an eternal journey.
He cherishes the process where 'Soul-mates' struggle thru the fires of life and eventually achieve 'Spiritual, Eternal Love'. He is not greatly troubled by the versions of sexual chemistry that were encountered or chosen in a former life.
Concepts under development.. (wip)
God has two different 'Standards' - One for errors done in private, and, one for errors made in public..
King Davids public adultery attracted a very heavy penalty plus a death sentence on the child!
An average Christians private 'act of adultery' does have a penalty, there is a 'price to pay', but nothing like the price David paid.
Why two standards?
God is the ultimate 'Loving, tender Dad'. His love for His little children puts all human fathers to shame! If the 'sin' is just between Him and His repentant son, He can be infinitely forgiving and no one else needs to know. However, if the sin has offended the wider community, then He must 'repair' that damage, and that requires a public penalty. God will use 'deadly force' to uphold the community values expressed in His Word.. Values like the 'Sanctity of Marriage', or 'Sexual morality', or Idolatry..
Little children need external 'Rules with Penalties' to teach them to be Internally 'self principled'.. Sadly, so do communities! Without good values supported by Laws and Penalties, all communities quickly self-destruct. Thus, God applies a much harsher standard to Public violations of Sexual Morality than to private personal lapses.
God makes many exceptions to His Laws 'carved in stone'..
* It was Ok for a brother to sleep with his brothers wife..
(If a couple had no children, and 'civic elders' agreed, a brother could be 'called in')
There was no community offense because the 'civic elders' had agreed.
* It was Ok for a 'Godly man' to have three wives! (Not recommended, but not a sin.) And, because God is not sexist, it must also be Ok for a Godly Lady to have three Husbands? (Again, with the approval of the 'civic elders')
With both these situations, Gods Written Laws defending Community Values were 'broken', but, because any "community offense" had been avoided, God was able to leave "Lethal Force" on the shelf and resort to His usual infinite compassion for His dearly beloved children.
A Minister in an area famous for 'alternate folk' has 30% Gays in his congregation.. He conducts a normal service without any mention of ‘Gay Repentance’ or ‘Gay Abstinence’. In an interview, he said “I know what the Bible says about 'Gays', but, these wonderful people are actually "a light on a hill" to this drug dependent and crime ridden suburb! These gentle folk display all the ‘Fruits of the Holy Spirit’.. I will tend their spiritual needs without judgment.. God is much better at ‘merciful Judgment’ than I”.
When asked about the sensitivity of children, he responded.. "That is a serious issue that really troubles me.. Luckily, we rarely have children attending, and when they do, all our 'Gay' members seem to understand and refrain from any visible intimacy.
God is not offended by sexual activity - He invented it.. And, He designed it to be insanely powerful and addictive! He is not offended if two young men get trapped by it. He just rolls His sleeves up for their long road ahead.
What He is offended by is anything we do that will obviously offend our neighbor or community. (His other children) If your neighbor is deeply offended by your eating pigs - then He wants you to disguise that practice - at least until your neighbor matures sufficiently.
A man can have two wives - Or a woman can have two husbands, IF the community is not offended by it - IF Gods honor is not diminished by it.